the story of beth

3rd Week of Advent

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 03:29:02 GMT

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit. Do not despise the words of the prophets, but test everything; hold fast to what is good; abstain from every form of evil. May the God of peace himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be kept sound and blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do this." ( 1 Thessalonians 5:16-24, NRSV)

This week's reading has me thinking. If Jesus comes to us again at Christmas this year, and if Jesus dwells within each of us, shouldn't that make a difference in who we are and how we live our lives? If we seek Jesus who is born in the manger, shouldn't we also be at peace among ourselves, help the weak and the poor, not repay evil for evil but always do good to one another, and in all circumstances, give thanks for what we have rather than complain about what we don't have?

First Sunday of Advent

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 06:00:35 GMT

today is the first Sunday of Advent - a season in the church that is in direct contrast to all the busy-ness going on around us. it is especially at this time of year that i miss working at church, helping provide me a tangible reminder of what this season is really all about.

our daily lives will now become even busier than usual - adding shopping, holiday programs, parties and other obligations to our already busy lives. at the same time, God calls us to become quiet, to reflect on our relationship to Him. but just how do we carve out moments of quiet?

i believe that God's house is anywhere we allow ourselves to be open to His presence. not just in "church". this year, i've decided to lower my expectations. my goal is to simply light the advent candle each Sunday before our family meal, and read or share a reflection on the meaning of Advent.

"Jesus said to his disciples: 'Be constantly on the watch! Stay awake!...You do not know when the Master of the house is coming.'" Mark. 13:33.

in this first week of Advent, we are asked to be alert, to not get so wrapped up in the materialism of the season that we forget who and what is "the reason for the season", and to not forget who and what is really most important to us.

Quote: Gratitude

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 06:59:13 GMT

He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has. ~Epictetus

Book of Days

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 02:54:08 GMT

Outside my window... it is night time, a cool breeze, and the songs of crickets.
my thoughts... feeling a bit lonely of all things. just when i need my bff, her own life is overwhelming her. we finally talked today, the first time in 2 weeks. worried about mom, that her breathing has not improved even though they have balanced her body fluids. wondering if this will be the time she goes into assisted living, and if she does what does that mean? what would we do with her house? what would happen with cleo?
Today's Quote...   "Learn how to withhold judgment
                              Learn to listen
                             Get in touch with your own inner self
                              Look at life with joy
                              Don't ever cry over something that cannot cry over you"
                              -- Cheewa James (Catch The Whisper of the Wind)
i am thankful for... the little things - like our morning ritual and serving Sir his first cup of coffee
from my service training... working at being more diligent about leaving work on time.
from the kitchen... the weekend was spent in the kitchen, preparing for this week's meals: salmon and spinach risotto, chicken corn chowder, tomato gravy and meatballs for spaghetti, and sausage and peppers.
i am wearing... a red flannel nightshirt with little skiing penguins.
i am creating... the annual cookie recipe review has begun for this year's Christmas baking.
my adventures this week... visiting mom and checking in on Cleo on Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday.
Becoming well read... up to Chapter 18 of The Lost Symbol.
i manifest and co-create... seeing others i meet in the best light, and seeing the events and circumstances around me from the highest point of view.
Todays Melody... the quiet sounds of the house at night.
One of my favorite things... fluffy pillows and cool sheets
further plans for this week... clearing Sir's schedule so he doesn't miss any of the World Series.
Still life...

Being Successful

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 01:17:33 GMT

an interesting topic came up today - do i consider myself successful? so it really made me think about what meaning successful means, at least to me.

it seems to me that most people equate success with financial freedom or achieving a high profile job.  yes, i feel the need to earn enough money to not have to worry about how our bills will be paid and to have a job that shows i am responsible and hard working.

i don't feel i measure my self-worth by either of these things. especially, since as a society we have been taught that "being on top" and striving for perfection in an imperfect world, regardless of what it may take to get there or stay there.

shouldn't the measure of one's success in life be focused on more important things? what about how we love ourselves, our family and friends, our neighbors and community. what about doing good for others?

Book of Days

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 00:07:20 GMT

Outside my window... it is cool, sunny, and a lovely breeze coming in the windows. i really love this time of year.
my thoughts... feeling both excited and apprehensive about the new offices. excited to get to "rearrange" and "redecorate" my office. that's always fun. apprehensive about the longer commute, and how the other changes will actually play out. perhaps more than apprehensive i'm feeling cautious.
Today's Quote... "Be wise in the use of time. The question in life is not how much time do we have. The question is: what shall we do with it?" ---Anna Robertson Brown'
i am thankful for... having a boss who shows interest in my overall development, personal as well as professional.
from my service training... anticipatory service and silent service are still on the drawing board!
from the kitchen... tonight's dinner will be cheese macaroni with ham and broccoli. on the menu for later in the week is chicken stew, stromboli, and a soup/salad evening.
i am wearing... tan slacks and a flowered blouse.
i am creating... a revised household budget. Sir is anticipating the next few months to be a bit more lean than usual.
my adventures this week... on duty at mom's Tuesday and Sunday this week. Taking Sir for his annual colonoscopy on Friday morning.
Becoming well read... just started "The Lost Symbol" by Dan Brown. i just love how he is able to catch the reader's interest right from the first page!
i manifest and co-create... remaining calm when life around us is not.
Todays Melody... birds and crickets are chirping outside the window.
One of my favorite things... iced tea
further plans for this week... unpacking at work, still need to make plans with Lady Elaina, going to BB 6th anniversary munch this Saturday.
Still life...

The last of the flowers still in bloom in Mom's garden.

Book of Days

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 11:32:57 GMT

Outside my window... it is still to early to see if it will be sunny or not this morning. we are expecting yet more rain later today, and storms into the night. it is getting cooler and starting to feel like fall. even the leaves have started changing.
my thoughts... feeling a little apprehensive about the move at work. along with the physical move comes a payroll change - going back to hourly. no change in job title or even rate of pay, so i am still trying to figure out what is bothering me about this so much.
Today's Quote...
“We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have."
Frederick Keonig
i am thankful for... having lifestyle friends, both old and new, with whom to share thoughts and ask questions and simply spend time with.
from my service training... anticipatory service and silent service are still on the drawing board!
from the kitchen... tonight's dinner will be beef stew served over rice. pasta with red sauce, and bbq with corn on the cob are on the menu for later in the week. special appetizer/snack on hand will be spinach pinwheels, and dessert will be warm and gooey chocolate cookies.
i am wearing... brown slacks and a cream/brown blouse.
i am creating... new chores chart for the household.
my adventures this week... on duty at mom's Tuesday and Thursday this week, possibly Saturday during the day as well.
Becoming well read... will most likely finish "The Gargoyle" this week.
i manifest and co-create... contentment in what i am fortunate to have.
Todays Melody... Sir's breathing and snoring, Buddy's purring, and the birds outside my window.
One of my favorite things... snuggling under the covers with Sir on cool mornings.
further plans for this week... packing my office at work for the big move, dinner with Lady Elaina (if schedule permits)
Still life...

Tolerance

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 14:40:17 GMT

Friday night, i was invited to join a gathering of friends both old and new, for a simple yet complex sharing of thoughts and questions. the question of tolerance was raised. more to the point, what is it? i found the conversation very interesting, and have been thinking about it since.

Webster's Dictionary defines tolerance as: The capacity for or the practice of recognizing and respecting the beliefs or practices of others.

words are funny things because they can and do mean different things to different people. and more often than not, people have little incentive to bridge any communication gap.

to me, tolerance means literally “to tolerate” something. this directly implies that the belief or practice being tolerated is one that a person, by definition, disagrees with and perhaps even dislikes. it in no way implies you have to pretend to like something you don’t like or pretend to accept things you truly believe to be wrong.

it is amazing to me that the word “tolerance” is being used less and less. instead, we regularly hear people being told they are being “intolerant” if they disagree with someone or if we don’t like what they are saying. what ever happened to being able to disagree with someone and it not being a bad thing? how sad and uninteresting life would be if we all agreed, all the time, about everything. is this really what those who preach tolerance are really wanting or expecting?

when we use the word "tolerance", are we really using it is as its own form of "intolerance", trying to shut down a minority view through it’s own form of hate and/or public humiliation?

for me, tolerance is about agreeing to disagree, commuicating with one another respectfully and civilly. it is not about mocking others or their beliefs and practices to get a negative reaction. it is not about misrepresenting or creating lies a about another's beliefs/practices.

treat people as you want to be treated yourself. yelling and screaming is not being tolerant. talking down to people and calling them stupid or childish (or implying as much by saying something like “you need to use your brain.”) isn’t tolerant either. any form of name calling or disrespectful labeling is equally intolerant.

only when we are able to recognize and work against our own prejudices, will we have the ability to overcome them and to be tolerance in our actions and our words. i think it's nearly impossible to be perfectly tolerant all the time. it is a virtue that i continue to work at and an ideal i strive for.

Quote: Ownership of Self

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 12:39:38 GMT

"I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old.

I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health.

I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death.

All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them.

My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand."

~~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Book of Days

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 14:36:18 GMT

Outside my window... it is cloudy once again. i just heard on the radio yesterday that overall, our summer was 1 degree cooler than last year. i should be grateful that we did not have the steamy humid weather we are used to this time of year. i also noticed that the leaves are starting to change. the summer went by so quickly!
my thoughts... i have work on my mind this week. a combination computer glitch and the IT department overwriting the backup tape have wreaked havoc with my getting the comm ission calculations completed on time. the report was there before MsC and gone after i got back. did i delete it in error? on the one hand, it doesn't seem likely, on the other hand, i can't discount the possibility. Sir has ordered me to stop kicking myelf over this. but it's so tempting.
Today's Quote... "true friendship isn't about being there when it's convenient; it's about being there when it's not.” - i am very grateful for the friends i have in my life. i have never had a large number of friends, but those that are in my circle are irreplaceable.
i am thankful for... 600 threadcount sheets, big fluffy pillows and a cool breeze through the bedroom windows.
from my service training... anticipatory service and silent service are still on the drawing board!
from the kitchen... tonight Sir will be on his own for dinner as i am on the schedule to visit mom and then spend the night at her house and take care of chores there. over the weekend we had some very homey meals: Saturday i made chicken and corn chowder, one of Sir's favorites. Sunday was broiled salmon and spinach risotto, and rice pudding for dessert. Last night was pasta with pesto sauce and a salad. On the menu for later in the week is tuna casserole and smoked salmon frittata.
i am wearing... my birthday suit!
i am creating... a cozy space for this Saturday's Submissive SCENE meeting. in addition to the couch, i am thinking of bringing the futon mattress down from the loft. i would also like to post a new discussion topic in our online group.
my adventures this week... busy week ahead as always: visit mom at rehab tonight and Thursday night, check on her cat and get house chores done, phone meeting with my mentee tonight at 9pm, get my nails done, pay the bills, and make a list for fall clothes shopping for Sir's approval.
Becoming well read... i am still reading "The Gargoyle" by Andrew Davidson
i manifest and co-create... remaining calm even during the stormy times
Todays Melody... watching "Charmed" (my secret weakness)
One of my favorite things... lazy morning's in bed with Sir
Still....life

View of Ford's Theatre in Washington, DC

TGIF

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 10:29:10 GMT

i've finally reached the end of an impossible week at work. now, to just make it through today. a computer glitch ate one of the reports i need to calculate commissions. recreating it is taking a lot of time, and effort, for many people. i'm keeping my fingers crossed that i actually get done by Monday....

Book of Days

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 12:54:30 GMT

Outside my window... – it is finally sunny and dry. so much better than the dreary, wet weather we've been having lately. the locusts and crickets are singing - loudly! i love this time of year, not needing the air conditioning and having the windows open.
my thoughts... – the rehab wants to send mom home this Friday, but C and i think it is too early. they seem to forget we are not there with her all day, we have families, we work, why is this so difficult for them to understand?
Today's Quote... – “Don't Make Assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.” ` Don Miguel Ruiz
i am thankful for... – for the nights Alex is home with us, all of us on the bed watching our favorite tv shows together.
From my service training... - i am studying and striving to put into practice better active listening skills.
From the kitchen...– last night was pasta with pesto and a nice green salad, on the menu for tonight is a pork and broccoli stir-fry. Also on this week's menu are tacos and braised short ribs.
i am wearing... – a pink and white sun dress
i am creating...– getting ready for the fall cleanout of closets, and giving those items gently worn but no longer wanted to those in need. we also discussed possible donating the Miata...
my adventures this week...– very quiet this week, a gal from our local MAsT Chapter is coming over for dinner on Friday, and we will attend Saturday's MAsT meeting in Philly.
Becoming well read...– still reading The Gargoyle
i manifest and co-create... - eating and living for optimum health. Sir and i are both very dedicated to this, and strive to make new, small changes each week. last week, anything with saturated fat or trans fats was given away or thrown away. this week - remembering to take our vitamins every day!
Todays Melody... – Patti Austin - Sings the Blues....
One of my favorite things... – the discussions that arise from Sir reading my journal. while it does not happen regularly, it is always an enlightening experience for both of us.
further plans for this week... visiting mom at rehab, checking in on mom's cat, and making it through a full work week (haven't had one of these in close to a month!).
Still....life

Sir and i at M/s Conference in Washington, DC 9/5/09

Self-determination

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 02:15:05 GMT

for me, self-determination is about:

Freedom – making my own choices for how and with whom i live my life.
Authority – deciding where my boundaries are, to know when bending them will be for my best, and also to know when bending them will cross the line.
Responsibility – accepting my role, and my value, by educating myself, giving myself room to grow, expecting from and seeing the best in others, and holding myself accountable for my thoughts and actions.

9/11

Sat, 12 Sep 2009 02:02:49 GMT

i don't know anyone who doesn't remember where they were and what they were doing when the first plane hit the World Trade Center.

i was still teaching K-8 music then, and in the middle of 1st period when we got the news. at first, we all thought, as did the rest of the world, that it was simply an accident. a horrible, technical malfunction of some kind. we had tv's in all the classrooms, so turned the news on. but what happened next was more than a shock - it was a reality. of purpose. of intent. of hatred. of war. needless to say, tv's were shut off, and many of the days special activities were cancelled. many parents came to collect their children from school.

i was not with my Sir at that time yet, but was "dating" a potential D-type. cell phone service was overloaded and unavailable. when i tried reaching him at his office, he never returned my call until the next day. i felt very isolated and alone that day. i didn't even have my own classroom to retreat to, so i was permitted to go home for the day.

what still remains with me today are the people that i knew personally that died that day, as well as others who risked their lives to save and/or recover victims. for me, it was a wake up call, to live my life as i truly wanted to - fully, with integrity and without regrets. it was also a reawakening of my relationship with God and my personal spirituality. i was very involved those next few days helping my church plan a special prayer service. the gospel reading we chose for that night was Matthew 5:1-12 -

1 Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, 2 and he began to teach them saying: 3 "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. 5 Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. 6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. 7 Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. 8 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. 9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. 10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 11"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

there is even a hymn that uses these words for the verses and refrain, and i often find myself singing this to myself, especially when commuting to and from work and my mom's.

i pray i never become complacent, that i never forget the courage, strength, and sacrifices made by so many on that day.

Quote: Determination

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 02:57:14 GMT

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. ~ Mark Twain

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 12:25:16 GMT

Outside my window... it is cloudy and raining. we were lucky that the hurricane did not come any closer to the coastline.
my thoughts... Sir has opened discussions of getting married. all i can say is, wow, i didn't see this coming at all. i'm truly speechless!
Today's Quote... the complementary movement towards divine love is growth in humility which is the acceptence of the reality about ourselves, our own weakness and limitations. ~ Thomas Keating
i am thankful for... my Sir, my family, my home, my job, having these things which provide for the necessities of my life.
from my service training... anticipatory service and silent service are still on the drawing board!
from the kitchen... tonight's dinner is actually undecided. Sir will not be home so just me and the kids. i will let them choose. options are: scrambled eggs with lox, home fries and bacon; pork chops, baked potato and broccoli; pasta with pesto sauce and salad.
i am wearing... white pants and a bright floral shirt, sandals.
i am creating... working on getting fall clothes sorted, cleaned, ready to wear.
my adventures this week... busy week ahead - nail appt, hair appt, going to M/s Conference!
Becoming well read... i am reading "The Gargoyle" by Andrew Davidson
i manifest and co-create...
Todays Melody... no music this morning, watching the morning news
One of my favorite things... the beach
further plans for this week... visiting mom at the rehab on Tuesday and Wednesday, packing for M/s Conference
Still....life
Long Beach Island, NJ

Book of Days - 8/17/09

Mon, 17 Aug 2009 19:55:41 GMT

Outside my window... it is a sunny, hot and humid day. a slight breeze, but i don't hear anything as the windows are closed, instead i hear the hum of the air conditioning and ceiling fans.
my thoughts... feeling a little guilty for spending less time at mom's the last few weeks. i know it is important for me to live my own life, but it makes me feel as though i am being neglectful. when i'm there she tells me she doesn't need anyone watching over her. when i'm not she says she's lonely and she misses me. it has become a no-win situation (at least from her perspective).
Today's Quote... The most beautiful things in the universe are the starry heavens above us and the feeling of duty within us. ~ an Indian Proverb
i am thankful for... Aunt Clara's unconditional love and friendship for mom and our family. C and i were not able to reach mom by phone last night or this morning, so she checked in on her for us.
from my service training... anticipatory service and silent service are still on the drawing board!
from the kitchen... tonight's dinner will be pan roasted chicken with potatoes and red onion. pasta with fresh pesto, and corn & crab chowder are on the menu for later this week.
i am wearing... a purple/white sundress and no shoes
i am creating... measuring the furniture on the bedroom to see if we might be able to rearrange.
my adventures this week... continuing to work on my contribution to the Aos project for Guy Baldwin.
Becoming well read... i get to pick a new book to start reading this week
i manifest and co-create...
Todays Melody... Amy Beach's Concerto for Piano and Orchestra
One of my favorite things... fresh, sliced peaches and a glass of iced tea
further plans for this week... taking mom to her podiatry appointment on Tuesday
Still....life broiled tomatoes from last night's dinner

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Self-Awareness

Sat, 15 Aug 2009 01:03:22 GMT

self-esteem was the group discussion topic at this past Wednesday's MAsT meeting. i really enjoyed the discussion, and i have found myself thinking about it ever since. one thought that has stuck in my mind is the idea of being more self-aware. intertwined with self esteem, is one possible without the other? it seems that far too often, people make life-changing choices without acknowledging their own deeply rooted personal preferences, wants and needs.

there were also some very good questions posed to the group. one of the members commented about how so much of what we read, and what we are hearing others describe, is about helping the slave develop and maintain better self-esteem. but what about our Masters? can't they also suffer from bouts of poor self-esteem? and if so, what can we as slaves do to help our Master's through times like this?

i really like what one member, a Master, had to say - that the best thing we can do for our Masters is to simply be there for them, in whatever way they want or need. to not expect them to be perfect and never make a mistake.

as simple as that advice may sound, it is not always easy to know how to offer or provide that type of support to Sir. throughout our relationship there have been 3 recurring issues that, at times, are very trying for him - his son, his health, and his job. i learned early in our relationship that when he is feeling down about himself or his ability to handle a situation, he prefers a bit more alone time than usual. he likes to reflect on the situation on his own. as much as i want to help, and want to ask him what i can do, i know that what he really wants is simply some quiet and some space. and after he has formed his thoughts he will ask to discuss whatever is bothering him.

giving him the alone time he desires is much easier said than done. it is a struggle for me. it can, at times, make me feel helpless. after all, i am here to help, to make things easier for him. so in my head i am saying why won't he let me?! it has taken many years, and a few missteps, to learn that sometimes the most important thing i can do is nothing at all. and that by doing nothing i am truly serving him.

Book of Days - 7/13/2009

Thu, 13 Aug 2009 12:17:59 GMT

Outside my window... it is morning, but you would not think so by just looking out the window. it is cloudy and dark. i can hear,the rain, the ceiling fan, and one of the cats is snoring (very cute, quiet little snores).
my thoughts... grateful for the nurses at the heart clinic, for their extraordinary service and support, for how they go above and beyond not just for mom, but for all their patients.
Today's Quote... When you look for the good in others, you discover the best in yourself. - Martin Walsh
i am thankful for... air conditioning that works!
from my service training... do a little more reflection and work on ways to provide silent service during times when Sir is going through times he needs additional support from me.
from the kitchen... Sir brought home a large bushel of fresh tomatoes last weekend, which i turned into tomato soup. it was yummy!
i am wearing... a blue/white cotton skirt, white eyelet blouse, sandals.
i am creating... i have now moved on to reorganizing the linen closet!
my adventures this week... last night i attended the MAsT meeting in Philadelphia. Saturday, Sir, the kids and i will be going to my sister's for a BBQ. i am also going to start working on my contribution to the Aos project for Guy Baldwin.
Becoming well read... still reading Dead After Dark
i manifest and co-create... i need to find ways to support Sir as he has not been feeling up to par. His annual physical did not show anything out of sorts, but they do want him to go for a sleep study. it is scheduled for September.
Todays Melody... i am watching the news (Morning Joe on MSNBC)
One of my favorite things... Stonyfield Organic Yogurt (lemon is my favorite).
further plans for this week... menu planning for next week, cooking some side dishes to take to Saturday's BBQ (C requested my potato salad and tortellini salad). i am also thinking of making stuffed strawberries for dessert.
Still....life my latest accomplishment.....

Game Night

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 02:06:31 GMT

the last few months now, our monthly game night at mom's has been moved to the 2nd Monday, to make it easier for a family friend to join us. He did not make it tonight (again), so next month we will be moving back to the 1st Monday.

so that we could have teams for whatever game mom decided we would play, P came over after dinner. her schedule has not permitted her to join us since January! she is always such good company, and a true competitor.

the game of choice tonight was "Eat It!".

it is a trivia game about snacks and sweets. mom picked P as her partner, so C and i were a team. you would think a game about candy, cookies, snack foods, etc. would be easy. think again! after getting the first several answers correct (and our opposing team not guessing any correct answers) we were feeling pretty good about our odds. but alas, it was not meant to be. mom and P won - and we had only collected 3 sections of the pyramid (and one of them was a sympathy win!).

as always, game night was a success. we always laugh a lot, at both ourselves as well as at and with one another. i think we all also enjoy that it is a night off from cooking. tonight's bring-home dinner was a veggie pizza.

i am looking forward to next month's game night already - but want to play a different game and possibly get a different partner for the evening!

Book of Days

Wed, 05 Aug 2009 02:02:05 GMT

Outside my window... it is sunny, some clouds, and still unbelievably humid. we do though, have a tree right outside our bedroom window, and there is always a lot of activity from the family of birds that call the tree home.
my thoughts... i am thinking about my sister, and worried a little about her as well. she cancelled her birthday plans this past weekend. i learned from mom that she and p are going through a difficult period in their relationship. i thought she would have called by now, wanted to talk perhaps. but nothing.
Today's Quote... We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned,
so as to accept the life that is waiting for us. ~ Joseph Campbell
i am thankful for... good friends that i am able to be myself with, that understand what being a slave means to me as well as the challenges that can present at times.
From my service training... being more mindful about my outward appearance this week. doing my hair and makeup even if we do not have plans or plan to spend the day at home.
from the kitchen... (we are really enjoying shopping at the farm market on the weekends, and having summer-time meals. Sunday was brioche french toast with fresh strawberry and blueberry compote; Monday was proscuitto-wrapped salmon, corn on the cob, and caprese salad, with peach cobbler for dessert; and tonight is skirt steak, asparagus and corn chowder. On the menu for later in the week are bacon cheeseburgers with broiled tomatoes on the side.
i am wearing... a blue/white cotton skirt, white eyelet blouse, and taupe sandals
i am creating... i have started reorganizing the kitchen now that the hall closet has been cleaned out.
my adventures this week... the BlackBeat Munch is this Saturday night.
Becoming well read... still reading Dead After Dark
i manifest and co-create... at SR2, Catherine explained the importance of having dreams and allowing ourself to believe in our having the ability to make our dreams come true. one of my dreams, and Sirs, is to own our own restaurant, one that serves breakfast and lunch. we decided that as we are inspired with menu ideas, we will start writing them down. while we may be a few years away from having the cash necessary to even think of this as a serious possibility, it will be fun to dream and plan...
Todays Melody... i am watching Charmed...
One of my favorite things... fresh blueberries
further plans for this week... Thursday doing some bulk cooking for mom,
Still....life this little guy (or girl), was simply sitting in the middle of the lawn when i got home from work tonight:

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http://servicesavoirfaire.blogspot.com/

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 12:52:28 GMT

Outside my window... it is windy and cloudy. we are expecting storms again today. even still, the birds in the tree outside our bedroom window are singing as though the sun was shining!
my thoughts... i am contemplating calling out sick from work today. i still have my period (starting week 2), along with cramps. i'll get ready and then see how i feel. Sir has decided it is time for us to start more actively searching to add to our household. we've been on hiatus from that, our last search left us both rather disappointed. i wonder if Sir will remember the bread for tonight's dinner of grilled pannini (last night's bread never made it home)...
Today's Quote...
It's not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something. May I suggest that it be creating joy for others, sharing what we have for the betterment of personkind, bringing hope to the lost and love to the lonely. ~ Leo Buscaglia
i am thankful for... Sir's devotion to his children and to our family, for his support of the new service-skills group passion and i have organized.

From my service training... acting/reacting more quickly when given instructions or requests

from the kitchen... (over the weekend we bought a bushel of jersey tomatoes as they are currently in season. i made tomato sauce from them, which we did enjoy some for dinner on Sunday night. tonight is grilled pannini and salad, and braised short-ribs is on the menu for the weekend.

i am wearing... navy/white flowy skirt, navy blouse, navy sandals
i am creating... i have started renovating the hall closet with the hopes of moving some of the lesser-used kitchen items there.
my adventures this week... the first meeting of our new service-skills group on Saturday afternoon!
Becoming well read... started Dead Until Dark last night. am curious to see how the books differ from the tv series.
i manifest and co-create... i am working on the final touches to my presentation for Saturday's service-skills group - organizing our spaces/decluttering.
Todays Melody... i am watching Morning Joe on CNBC.
One of my favorite things... Peruvian coffee from The Coffee Scoop store in Bucks County, PA.
further plans for this week... yoga class on Wednesday, working late Friday night for month-end duties, and
Still....life from my patio garden

Forming a D/s Family

Sun, 26 Jul 2009 21:09:03 GMT

Sir has decided it is time for us to more actively start searching again, for that elusive thing called a sister-slave: the one i can call my sister, my confidante, my lover, my best friend.

Sir and i have always had a desire for adding to our household. to make real connections with others that share our vision - that of extending unconditional love and generosity, true concern for another's well being, and including them in the traditions that create strong and lasting bonds. for me, and for U/us, this is really what family is all about.

the search begins.....

Book of Days

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 13:30:19 GMT

Outside my window... (weather, what do you hear, what do you see?) - it is a rainy and stormy day. i hear the rain on the windows and am watching the morning news on the tv.

my thoughts... i am feeling a little overwhelmed at work this week. my boss is in Denver for meetings and i have 3 rather large projects which must all be completed this week in addition to all the regular work that comes across my desk each week. i definitely need to come up with a plan.

today's quote... "I sometimes react to making a mistake as if I have betrayed myself. My fear of making a mistake seems to be based on the hidden assumption that I am potentially perfect and that if I can just be very careful I will not fall from heaven. But a 'mistake' is a declaration of the way I am, a jolt to the way I intend, a reminder I am not dealing with the facts. When I have listened to my mistakes I have grown."
~ Hugh Prather

i am thankful for... my health, my family and friends. my sister lost one of her dear friends yesterday, to cancer. it had been a long and painful journey. it is an important lesson in making the most of every day we are given, and loving all those who are blessed to be part of our lives.

From my service training... (any skills, training etc; notes you want to share this week)- still working on our review of my personal protocols. once finished, Sir will review them and make any changes or additions he feels is warranted.

From the kitchen... (menu for the week, what are you cooking?)- as my sister will be out of state for a few days i will be on duty at my mom's. chicken stew and BLTs made with fresh jersey tomatoes are on the menu.

i am wearing... black and white skirt, black sleeveless sweater, black sandals.

my adventures this week... (where are you going this week?) - we made 2 day trips this past weekend - first, shopping at the outlets in Lancaster, PA and second, we took the kids to the Philadelphia Zoo.

Becoming well read... (What are you reading this week?)- up to Chapter 30 of "Play Dirty" (at mom's).

i manifest and co-create... (what are your hopes, dreams, and prayers this week)- i hope that Sir's dermatology appointment goes well today. He's been worried about the dry patch on his nose.

Todays Melody... (what music are you listening to? even if it's just the sound of a bird...)- enjoying the sound of the rain.

One of my favorite things... - iced tea

further plans for this week... - girls night out with slave passion, work, yoga class,

Still....life... from our visit to the zoo this past weekend

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 00:02:13 GMT

Outside my window... (weather, what do you hear, what do you see?) - it is a lovely, sunny day, in the low 80's, little to no humidity (is this really South Jersey?). i don't hear anything other than the air conditioner unit and mom's radio.

my thoughts... i am not as anxious about what seemed like mom's rapid onset of confusion and memory loss. we may have found some underlying reasons at her regular cardiology visit today.

Today's Quote... "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts." ~Bertrand Russell

i am thankful for... my friends and partners in crime (a.k.a. the A-team).

From my service training... (any skills, training etc; notes you want to share this week)- will be starting my not-quite-annual review of my personal protocols.

From the kitchen... (menu for the week, what are you cooking?)- as a thank you to Sir for allowing me the weekend away to attend SRII, i made his favorite dinner last night - rib eye steak and pilaf. i also served a tomato and mozzarella salad on the side.

i am wearing... jeans and white cotton eyelet blouse, blue sandals.

my adventures this week... (where are you going this week?) - we will be staying local this week, hopefully scheduling a time to meet up with Miss Elizabeth and get caught up since her return from Canada.

Becoming well read... (What are you reading this week?)- up to Chapter 22 of "Play Dirty".

i manifest and co-create... (what are your hopes, dreams, and prayers this week)- i hope that i continue to relax even when things are uncertain. and it is my prayer that the women that helped create my experience at SRII have peace of mind and continue on the path toward discovering their hearts desires.

Todays Melody... (what music are you listening to? even if it's just the sound of a bird...)- mom has tv on.

One of my favorite things... - my birthstone ring, a gift from my mother on my 13th birthday. it had been given to her as a gift from her Granny on her 13th birthday. the ring was originally my maternal great-grandmother's engagement ring. how wonderfully eery that it would be my birthstone!

further plans for this week...- work, yoga class, getting a cut and color

Still....life

Blooming in the garden at mom's

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have."
Frederick Keonig